- Welcome everyone to our webinar for today,
Self-Care for Educators in the Time of COVID-19 and beyond.
Featuring Dr. Tina H. Boogren.
This is Joel Pierson.
Marketing Editor for Solution Tree and I will be
your moderator for today.
We invite you to join the free online community
for this edWebinar at edWeb.net/pd
and you will see all the benefits that you get
right there on screen.
One of the things we wanna tell you
is that we've got some upcoming webinars ourselves,
that are outside of the edWeb platform.
Next week we have a Mind the Gaps,
part three of the three-part series about
closing the gaps from the COVID slide
for the next school year and that is
with Nicole Dimich, she is going to talk about
some really important things.
We've had great attendance for these.
Invite you to come to SolutionTree.com to sign up.
We also, the other 10 titles that you see right now,
those are all virtual book studies for the books listed.
And you are invited, the authors will be there,
other educators will be there.
It will be a just like your favorite book club
without leaving home and plenty of social distancing.
So, we hope you will join us for those.
Information about all of these is on the page
SolutionTree.com/webinars
and did I mention it's all free?
'Cause it's all free.
And now it is my pleasure to introduce our speaker today.
Tina H. Boogren, Ph.D, is A former classroom teacher.
English department chair, teacher, mentor, instructional coach,
professional developer, athletic coach,
building-level leader, and they left off wonderful
human being but I'm gonna put it in there.
Wait till you hear her.
She's presented at the school district and national levels,
and has been a featured speaker
at the International Literacy Association Annual Conference
and Barnes and Nobles Educators' Nights.
So with that, I will say Tina, welcome.
- Thank you, oh, my goodness!
Because my heart is exploding.
I have got to focus, 'cause I just wanna say hello
to everyone over in the chat box
but I am gonna focus over here.
I'm so glad you're with me.
Happy Friday!
Let's do this.
So, here's what we're gonna talk about today.
Today is about talking about self-care and wellness for you.
So, to start us off, here's what I'm gonna ask us to do.
First and foremost, what I want you to do right now,
get yourselves settled, take a deep breath,
and give yourself permission right now to do one thing
and one thing only.
And that is this.
I invite you to go all in with me right now.
I know, I know, I know, we have said in one million Zooms
and webX and you (speaking faintly) it.
And I know sitting on your side,
how often my brain is like yeah,
I'm gonna kind of pay attention but I'm also gonna
get my to-do list done, 'cause you guys,
it's Friday and I gotta get these things done.
But here's the deal, you miss it.
We know multitasking is a myth.
We cannot pay attention to two things at once.
And this, this is for you, this is the gift
that I wanna give to you.
This is all about you, not about your students right now,
the end results will be your students, don't get me wrong.
Not about your family, although, they will benefit
from this as well.
This right now is about you.
And I want you to give yourselves the gift
of allowing yourself to go all in.
So that means take just a second you guys.
Get yourselves situated, hand your child the screen,
it's fine, they have permission to be on the screen longer.
Shut your door if you need to.
Get yourselves comfortable, walk your computer outside,
if it feels good to sit outside, whatever you need to do
to go all in with me, okay?
Yay.
So, I'm gonna start us off with a little bit.
Now some of you probably just saw this screen
and were like, come on!
Do we have to talk about the research
but here's the deal, first of all, I nerd out
about the research and I think there's so much interesting
research to attach to this topic.
So, I'm gonna do a little grounding for us.
So, to get us started in the research,
what I'm going to invite you to do
is over in that chat box there,
I am going to ask you to respond to this question.
So, go ahead and do that right now.
This is the same question that Yale and CASEL
asked educators at the end of March of 2020
and I wanna compare your results with what the results
of that study were.
So, let me give you just a little bit of time.
I'm gonna play some music while you do that.
Let's get 'em coming in here.
(upbeat music)
♪ Music is a rubber than there self ♪
- Nice.
♪ You'll understand ♪
- All right, I'm gonna pause.
I'm gonna pause right there to keep us going
but look at these come in.
Yes and here's what I'm seeing.
So, I see some good news in the chat box.
That I feel a little bit more positive emotions
than what the results of this survey were.
So, these are the results of this survey.
So, over 5,000 teachers, as I said, this was done
through Yale and CASEL.
And the number one most overarching feeling
that teachers had right now was anxiousness.
That was overwhelming, over 95% of those teachers surveyed,
listed anxiousness and I, as I look over to the side,
I see that same emotion.
Which makes perfect sense to me because we can think of
anxiety is really, it's a fear of the future.
In particular, we can think of it as a fear
of an unknown future.
It is also Mark Bracket would describe anxiety as this
and this is from his book, "Permission To Feel."
Anxiety is a signal that we feel something important
is beyond our control.
And that we are living in that messy middle right now.
And I bring this up because look at these emotions
and think about the impact these emotions have,
not only on our daily lives but on ourselves as educators.
Now, one of the interesting things to come out of this,
is I asked myself, so why do teachers feel like this,
and so the study actually divided these feelings,
those feelings that you just thought into these two buckets.
So, on the one hand, that first bucket,
while we were feeling anxious and fearful and worried
and overwhelmed, was because of, in the first bucket,
a fear of getting sick.
Right, in the middle of this pandemic,
a fear of ourselves getting sick
or someone we love getting sick.
And then in that second bucket, the reason that we were
feeling that anxiety, fear, overwhelm and sadness,
had to do with just how our daily lives have changed.
Trying to turn upside down everything we know
about education in a traditional school environment,
do that at home, do that at home with your own children
running around, do that at home with all of the things
happening and all the stress.
So, again, anxiousness, fearfulness, worry,
overwhelm and sadness would fit into those two buckets.
Which makes us wonder what would the difference
of that study, that same study be done
when we ask those same questions,
when we asked that same question in 2017,
was there a huge difference between what we are feeling now
and what we might have felt in 2017.
And the interesting part is, sadly, not a huge difference.
No, anxiousness is not in the 2017 survey.
It definitely was overwhelming in the 2020
but we see a lot of those same emotions.
Now, happy shows up in 2017.
It didn't show up in the 2020 survey
but it did show up in that chat box,
which makes me happy.
Happy that that showed up.
Now, the reason that these emotions came up in 2017,
this is different than the feelings that we,
the reasons behind our feelings today.
So, the primary source in 2017, of these emotions,
was the stress that you all know, do you remember 2017,
if you think it's probably the same stress as February,
of this year, which has to do with not feeling supported
by administration, around challenges related to meeting
students’ needs, high-stakes testing,
ever-changing curriculum, and ding, ding, ding,
a work life balance.
So, that being said, this is my platform.
This is my hill to die on, you guys,
this is why I am so honored to be here with you.
My core belief is this, what you see on the screen.
I'm gonna let you read that.
Here's the deal.
I can give you the most amazing strategies
that have a ton of research behind them that says,
there's a pretty good chance that these are going to work,
but here's what I know without a doubt,
that if the person providing those strategies
looks like this, then we have a problem.
So, my goal is to get as, first of all,
you guys, I got to get you out of the street.
Like, we can't have you laying in the,
we gotta get you up out of that street and dancing again.
So, that is my goal.
That is my goal.
So, I wanna shift to the question a tiny bit then.
So, that was the bad news, I wanna move us over to
if you could identify how do you want to feel right now.
And again, I'm gonna invite you to put that over
in that chat box, I'll give you a couple minutes.
Here they come.
♪ It might see crazy what I'm bout to say ♪
♪ Sunshine, she's healed, you can take away ♪
♪ Mama, hot air balloon like a ghost space ♪
♪ With the air, like I don't care ♪
♪ Baby by the way ♪
♪ Because I'm happy ♪
♪ Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof ♪
♪ Because I'm happy, clap along if you feel ♪
♪ Like happiness is the truth ♪
- Oh, my goodness, yes.
Now I'm, I might've pushed you a little
by playing that song, however, that's exactly
what I seeing here, of course, yes,
I see less stressed, I see motivated,
I see optimistic, I see ready, absolutely.
So, that same survey done by Yale,
those same 5,000 teachers were asked the same thing
and these lined up exactly to what I see over
in the chat box as well, so happy,
and inspired, and valued, supported, effective,
and respected, so yes, that is our goal.
And I know we are living in such angst right now.
We're in the messy middle.
We've all seen floating around on social media
those super terrifying guidelines for what the school year
needs to look like and that's causing us so much angst
and here's the deal, for this time right here,
we're going to get back to our own footing,
and our own foundation, so that we can approach
that unknown future, feeling really solid.
And bringing some of these emotions into play here.
So, I'm gonna give you your first takeaway
because we're already started and I want you
to have a takeaway to start immediately.
So, whatever you identified as the emotions
that you want to feel, here's my challenge to you.
Act as though you already feel that.
So, this comes from Gretchen Rubin,
oh my gosh, I love her, she is an author,
she's a podcaster, I love this idea.
It sounds so ridiculous and yet it's crazy
how much it works, you guys.
Act the way you want to feel.
So, if you want to feel happy, you act happy,
so how do we do that?
You start with a smile.
In fact, you start by sitting up straight.
We know that there's some really interesting research
that says that if we can move our body position,
it actually changes our emotion.
So, that makes sense to me.
If we're slumped down in your chair, right,
we just feel tired and kind of groggy.
So, actually I want you to sit up right now.
I want you to try smiling, which is going to feel ridiculous
but it gets those feel good chemicals going in our brain
and it actually will work.
If we want to feel happy, let's act happy.
If we want to feel inspired, let's look for the good
in the world.
Because we know that it's out there, we just have to dig
through the muck and the mud a little bit more
to get there, so that's our first takeaway.
Okay, so, now I wanna give you the foundation.
So, the foundation that I build my self-care work around
is gonna be very familiar to you.
Now the slide you're gonna see is an updated version
for this time that we're living in,
so go ahead and take a look at this.
(laughs) not as much anymore.
There is good news that we now have toilet paper, right?
So, go think of the generalized Maslow's hierarchy of needs
here though.
So, that's the foundation I use.
Here's why I use this foundation.
Number one, we know it, we recognize it,
we know it, it's not trying to learn
and memorize something new.
And what I love is that there's two sides
to Maslow's hierarchy here.
So, this is the workshops that I'm doing right now,
you guys, the majority of them are around both sides
of this pyramid.
So, one side of this pyramid is how we think about
Maslow in terms of our students and now,
more than ever, we have got to think about,
as we start to plan for next year,
how are we going to meet these needs for our students.
But my argument is and my hill to die on
is we can't think about that for students
unless we start with the adults.
And so, this session is about the other side
of that pyramid where we think about Maslow's hierarchy
for ourselves and what it means for us to get
really solid at each of these levels.
Now all I did is I took Maslow's hierarchy
and if you have the handout,
and if you don't have the handout,
don't worry, we're gonna tell you how to get to it.
You might just take photo of it on your screen,
that's a really easy way to do it.
On the handout though, you will see on the page two,
I took Maslow's hierarchy and for metaphor sake,
because I love a good metaphor, I just turn that
into a ladder.
The thinking behind this is, we want to get to the top
of the this ladder, right?
We want to be living our best lives,
that's what self actualization is in transcendence.
But the reminder is that it's really hard to get
to those top levels or to stay at those top levels
if the bottom four are broken or depleted
or currently right now, they might be broken off
and burned in a fire.
That's where we could be feel right now.
So, this is our starting place.
Now, to take Maslow's hierarchy and make it
even more personal, if you flip over to page three,
I just attached super simple questions to that ladder.
And here's the thinking behind this.
This is what I want you to consider
in your first step in thinking about
taking care of yourself.
I want you to challenge yourself to set an alarm
for a few different times during your day,
Literally set an alarm, 'cause otherwise
we're gonna forget to do it,
'cause you're busy, busy people.
So, you set an alarm
and what happens when that alarm goes off,
is you ask yourself the questions that this ladder,
starting at the bottom.
And the minute that you get to a question
that you answer no to, you do something to change that no
into a yes.
Now, if you say yes to a question, you get to keep moving up
and that's fantastic.
But if you say no, then we need to have some strategies
that you can put into place,
some teeny tiny little small things that we can do
to change that no into a yes.
That's the thinking behind this.
And my goal, I really want you
to walk away from this time together
with some things that you can put into place right now,
that's going to be those go-to moves that you can have
when you find yourself responding no,
that you can put, change that into a yes.
And so, in your handout, once again,
the page that I want you to really hold onto is page four.
And again, if you don't have your handout,
don't worry about it.
You can do this on a sheet of paper
or just take a photo of this.
You can come back to it later.
What I want us to do is I want us to put in some strategies
right now, so that you have your own individualized plan
to get started with right away.
I know for a fact that different strategies
work for different people but there's some general things
that I'm going to offer to you, as starting places.
So, we can start to fill in each of those areas, okay.
Okay, so, let's start and we are gonna start with level one.
We're gonna start at the bottom.
So, the question associated with level one
is are my basic needs met?
And I would argue that right now,
for all of us collectively, with everything that's going on,
level one and two, levels one and two of our ladder
got rocked.
So, think about, just do a check-in right now,
on your own, how are you doing in each of these areas?
Diet, sleep and exercise.
I can hardly say it with a straight face,
'cause most of us, you guys are feeling like,
this to me, someone described these three as wackamole.
If you guys remember that game, right?
We will get one area, like I'll get my diet under control
but then my exercise is out of control
and then I get my exercise
and then my sleep gets out of control.
So, this is about getting back to basics.
It never ceases to amaze me how when things feel
out of control, or in a not great place,
if I check in with myself, what's missing often times
is diet, sleep, exercise.
In fact, when teachers are in the disillusionment phase,
as Ellen Moore describes it, that really difficult time
in the school year where we just are struggling.
One of my first coaching questions is always around
tell me about your diet, sleep, and exercise.
What teeny tiny baby step can we start with there?
Now, you might feel like, oh, my gosh,
I'm not doing a great job with any of these.
I've eaten all of the quarantine snacks
every single day for the two months now.
You guys, recognize that that is normal
and we're gonna just take a little baby step here.
And in fact, what I'm gonna recommend to you,
there's one starting place and if you know me at all,
if you've been in any workshops with me,
you right now are rolling your eyes,
'cause I know what she's gonna say, I know exactly
what she's gonna say and you would be right.
Da, da, da, da, there it is.
Drink more water.
You guys, I am just a zealot about this
because it's easy.
Easy might be a stretch, right?
It's a simple idea, which don't mean it's easy all the time
but it's something that we can do literally right now.
In fact, I'm gonna force you to do it literally right now.
If you have water next to you, I want you to grab it
and I want you to literally stop right now,
take a drink.
If you don't have it, you're on a mission to hurry and run
and go get some water and come back to me
as quickly as you possibly can.
Now up on the screen are reminders
of why water is so important.
Again, you guys, I know you know this.
No one is sitting on this webinar and they're like,
I didn't know I was suppose to drink water.
Who knew, I know we know this but just because we know
something, doesn't mean we're always good at it.
So, there's the reminders of why it's so important.
And it's such a simple thing that we can do
that can have a huge impact.
I know some of you are crushing it and you are
drinking enough water but there's so many of us
that I have interacted with via the workshops
that I'm doing, the webinars I'm doing
and on my Facebook page that say,
I'm just not drinking enough water.
I have got to get back to that.
So, starting today, let's get back to that.
As a general idea, what the recommendation is
around how much water to drink,
is you take your body weight,
divide it in half and that is the minimum number of ounces.
And that is if you don't exercise
and it's not hot outside.
So, that's the minimum number.
Some of you I know are living in really hot places,
so you wanna up that.
Now, start small, start small.
So, here's what I'm gonna ask you to do.
In that chat box, I'm going to play a little music,
once again and let's put all of our heads together
and let's share what are your best tips for making sure
that you drink enough water throughout the day.
Why don't you chug some water while you're putting in
the chat box.
All right, ready, go.
(upbeat music)
♪ This hit, that ice cold ♪
♪ Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold ♪
♪ This one for them hood girls ♪
♪ Them good girls straight masterpieces ♪
♪ Stylin', wilin', livin' it up in the city ♪
♪ Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent ♪
♪ Gotta kiss myself, I'm so pretty ♪
♪ I'm too hot, hot damn ♪
♪ Call the police and the fireman ♪
♪ I'm too hot, hot damn ♪
♪ Make a dragon wanna retire man ♪
♪ I'm too hot, hot damn ♪
♪ Say my name, you know who I am ♪
♪ I'm too hot, hot damn ♪
♪ And my band 'bout that money, break it down ♪
♪ Girls ♪
- Oh, you guys, yes, these are genius.
These are genius.
And I hope you guys are going back, read through those,
they were, also, we're saving the chat box here,
'cause there's so many amazing ideas here.
Yes, yes, yes, let's do it.
And I saw some of you were one step ahead of me.
The, I recommend this all the time.
I recommend this all the time.
There's a ton of apps, a ton of ways that you can
keep track of your water intake but I find this one
is the most fun.
It's a free app, you can put it on your phone.
You let it know how much water you wanna drink
and every time you drink water, you record it
and that plant grows and it's super happy
and it's great and if you don't, it dies
and you feel terrible.
So, it's really good at accountability.
So, there is a starting place for you, okay?
So, we're gonna drink the stupid water.
We don't want to but we're gonna do it.
In fact, take another drink, right now, all together,
let's do it.
Ta-da, perfect, perfect.
Now, in my workshops, we delve more into other tips
and ideas around diet, sleep, and exercise but for now,
on your handout, page four, make a commitment
that you're gonna drink more water, okay?
And then we're gonna move up to level two.
So, level two is safety and this is the one you guys,
when all of, when the world got turned upside down,
I immediately, immediately got stuck on the idea of
oh no, everyone's safety rung of the ladder
just got broken off and thrown away.
Because if we think of safety as being defined like this,
I'm gonna let you read these two bullet points
on the screen.
Let's break this down.
So, if safety has to do with order, predictability,
and fairness, I can't even say it with a straight face.
That's what got rocked for all of us, right?
This does not seem fair.
It's not fair that during the sweet spot of the school year,
or rejuvenation stage, where you had built
such amazing relationships with those students,
that you had a routine down and a system,
and that overnight practically, that whole world
got turned upside down,
you got pulled out of the rejuvenation stage.
That is not fair.
It is not fair for our high school seniors.
It is not fair for our retiring educators,
none of this is fair.
Canceling vacation isn't fair.
We could go on and on and on.
And that unfairness, what that's doing is that's
making us feel unsafe.
We also have no predictability, we don't know
what next year's gonna look like.
We don't know.
And most of us really like the idea of being in control
and we're out of control in that area.
And what the result of that is
is we start to feel anxious.
That anxiety starts to creep in.
I would say collectively,
the entire world is feeling anxious.
Now, I'm someone that, I struggle with anxiety all the time
and so that's just even put even more so.
Friends that don't typically struggle with anxiety,
are like what is happening, what is this feeling?
And I'm like, oh, welcome, that's called anxiety.
It can show up in a number of different ways
and so I want us to recognize what it is
and I wanna give us some tools and some things
that we can think about to reground ourselves.
Again, when we have more time together,
I delve into, I'm just gonna mention it,
using music is the reason that I have music playing
during this presentation.
I hope you feel that we've changed our mood.
I saw some of you mention right at the beginning
of the webinar, what a great way to start,
that it made you feel happy.
See how powerful music is.
Those go-to good mood songs,
just having a little dance break can change everything.
Here's the other tool that I wanna give you
which is this is when that anxiety feels like it's,
it is beating strong in us.
And you will know, you'll know it.
I know in my body when I start to feel it.
I feel it in my stomach, my shoulder start to connect
to my ears, my jaw actually starts to lock.
I know when it's happening.
And so one of the fastest ways that we can combat that
is to remember to breathe.
To remember to breathe.
Sounds, again, so simple.
It's kind of like water, sounds so simple
but yet we don't always do it.
Breathing sounds so simple but we don't always do it
in a way that counteracts those feelings of anxiety
or feeling unsafe.
So, I'm going to actually teach you how to breathe today.
So, we're gonna do this together.
Here's what I want you to do.
And you're gonna be like, oh, gosh, this is so silly
but you're gonna do it,
'cause you're gonna remember this later.
What I want you to do,
is I want you to get yourself situated,
so that you have both feet solidly on the ground.
I'm gonna invite you to sit up straight.
Not so you're uncomfortable but I always say picture
a balloon attached to the tag of your shirt,
just helping you kind of sit up straight.
And right now, I just want you to put a hand on your belly
and I want you to feel what it feels like
to push your breath into your belly,
so that when you inhale, you're stomach actually expands.
Go ahead and do that just once to feel it.
Nice.
Because think about it.
When we are anxious, we don't breathe in our belly.
In fact, our breathing becomes super shallow, right?
We breathe from our chest and when we get really anxious,
this leads to panic attacks, where we cannot even
catch our breath.
So, one of the calming pieces is to push that breath
into our belly.
And then the idea behind this is that you are
breathing around this box.
So, if you just follow around, the thinking behind this
is that you inhale for a count of four
and your stomach is expanding.
You hold that at the top.
You exhale for a count of four and your stomach
goes back to it's perfectly flat six-pack abs
and then you hold it at the bottom.
So, what I want us to do right now,
it's gonna feel so weird but this will help you build
muscle memory around this,
so that you can pull this up later.
I'm gonna invite you to take one box breath
on your own.
Which means that I want you to put one hand on your belly
and with the other hand,
I want you to actually draw the box,
either draw it in the air, draw it on your leg,
draw it on your computer.
But I want you to connect the breathing
with moving around that box.
I'm gonna be quiet and do this with you.
Just take one deep breath whenever you are ready.
It's sometimes helpful to close your eyes,
ready, go.
All right.
Isn't it crazy?
Like I feel better.
Like just by instantaneous, just calmed my nerves down.
And I feel better.
Here's what's happening.
It literally is calming our nervous system down
and it's putting us back in that present moment.
So, again, if we think about anxiety is that fear
of an unknown future.
Where we start to ruminate, and we start to,
you know that feeling, I know that feeling.
I can do it so easily just thinking about
the next school year.
What is it gonna look like?
How do we keep (speaking faintly).
And we go down this path
and our breathing gets really shallow
and we feel really, really anxious and scared about that
and we don't have control over it.
Boom, if we can remember to breathe, (exhales),
it calms our nervous system down and it pulls us
out of that anxious state and plops us back into
the present moment, it reground us.
And that is a powerful thing.
This is a great tool to give to your students,
to give to your family members, to practice it,
practice it, practice it.
And again, the reminder here is that if we can do this
over and over again, then we'll have it
in those moments of crisis, when that anxiety kicks in.
So, I would suggest to you that when that alarm goes off
and you go to your ladder
and you start asking yourselves the questions,
pair that with taking a deep breath.
So, the alarm goes back off, pause,
take one box breath and then start asking yourself
the question, starting at the bottom.
If we compare that together and make that
a daily ritual and have it, then it's something
we don't even have to think about, it's not another decision
that we have to make.
It just becomes part of what we do.
And that's really powerful.
'Cause here's what we're going for.
Right?
You got it, you got it.
Okay, perfect.
Here's actually what I want us to do.
I want you to just pause right now.
Will you just stand up and take a stretch right at,
wherever you're sitting.
Literally just like 10 seconds,
just stand up and stretch, please.
(upbeat music)
♪ Just keep your eyes on me ♪
♪ I said you're holding back ♪
♪ She said shut up and dance with me ♪
♪ This woman is my destiny ♪
♪ She said oh, oh, oh shut and dance with me ♪
- Perfect.
Thank you.
It was time to stretch, along with the exercise piece,
you guys, just make a mental note that about every,
minimum, minimally, every 25 to 30 minutes,
we should really stand up, move away from our computer,
turn our eyes away from that screen
and move our bodies.
Again, if you want, if one of the emotions that you
wanted to feel was energized.
Then act in that way, which means move your body.
If I need to just change my state,
I will just stand up and do jumping jacks.
I will, many of you know, that I have become obsessed
with taking AAW, shout out to my mom, who gave me this term.
And AAW is an attitude adjustment walk.
When things don't feel good or feel off,
you guys go for a walk, it works every single time.
Add a little breath to that and now we're cooking with fire.
Okay?
So, we're gonna move up to level three here.
And I just want to remind you, on levels one and two,
you know, the research is really clear,
that if levels one and two, so our physiological
and safety needs are not solid,
we cannot even pay attention.
I'm gonna say that one more time,
'cause that's really important.
If our level one and two needs are not solid,
so if our physiological and, or safety needs
are not solid, we cannot even pay attention.
This is true for our students.
This is true for us.
This might explain if you are having trouble concentrating,
now you know why.
I am right now, working on writing my next book.
And that is normally such a joy for me
and look, I have the gift of being home.
Which doesn't normally happen and for some reason,
don't tell Solution Tree, I'm just kidding,
I'm having a really hard time paying attention to that.
And what I know is that is a perfectly natural thing, right?
Because of this collective sense of anxiety
around level two and getting back to the basics
around level one.
I've got to get those solid to be able to get my head
in that space that we need it to be at, okay?
So, now we're gonna move into level three.
So, level three is all about belonging.
And every time I say this, I feel a little pinch
in my heart because you know, as we are safer at home,
it's really done a number on our sense of belonging.
Now, I would argue that there's been positives
and some huge challenges there, too.
We know, collectively, we are hard wired for connection.
Again, this is the universal heartache
that as educators, we have felt.
To not be sitting next to your student,
to not look them in the eye, to not have the hand
on the shoulder, oh my gosh, we now know more than ever
how important it is to be face to face.
So, that sense of belonging is essential.
And in this age, of this physical distancing,
someone gave me that terminology, which I love,
instead of saying social distancing, let's say
physical distancing.
'Cause we want the social connection.
It's the physical distancing.
We've got to get really creative.
So, I have been kind of curating and culminating
all these ideas, from everyone that I get a chance
to work with when I do these longer workshops
and these are a bunch of ideas that I've stolen
and pilfered from others.
All these pretty incredible ways
that we can still stay connected.
And I know there's a gazillion more.
Which means, I'm not gonna go through these.
Let me know if you have a question on here.
But what I would really love for us to do
is I want you, and just a second,
I'll put the question up there
but I'll let you take a look at this right now.
I want you to share how are you staying connected,
to friends, to family members, to students,
like how have you could have thought outside of the box,
what are additional things so that we can again,
look at these ideas and you can pick and choose
what seems to work for you.
And jot those down, add those to your own plan.
Here they come, I love it, I love it.
Go ahead, add those to the box here.
(upbeat music)
♪ Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen ♪
♪ Tonight we'll put all other things aside ♪
♪ Give in this time and show me some affection ♪
♪ We're goin' for those pleasures in the night ♪
♪ I want to love, be with you ♪
♪ To wrap myself around you, I want to squeeze you ♪
♪ Please you, I just can't get ♪
♪ And if you move real slow, I'll let it go ♪
♪ I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it ♪
♪ I'm about to ♪
- Oh, genius ideas, you guys, genius, I love them.
I'm stealing these.
I love them.
Yes!
Man, you guys, this is what I love
when we get people together, this is why these workshops
have been so fun for me to do
because when we put our brains together,
the amount of ideas that you just came up with
in like 30 seconds is incredible.
So, be looking, culminating through those
and decide what works for you.
What's maybe a new thing that you can try together.
I just love all of these ideas.
You know, I know we all have like Zoom fatigue
and Zoom butt happening right now
but when we can keep that connection,
how essential that is, it's just huge.
One of the favorite things that I love is my family,
every single Sunday without fail, at 4:30,
we have a standing Zoom where we check in with each other
and I can't tell you how much I love that
and I hope that that continues even when life
starts to go back to normal whenever that is.
So, take a look on the screen
and here's just a gentle reminder.
It's always a good idea to just do a quick check.
Is there someone you haven't heard from in a while?
Is there someone that it would be nice
to just kind of reach out, check in,
send a text, send a message, send an email,
send a letter, send a post card.
I have a girlfriend that is sending postcards
and it makes me so happy when I get them.
Just do a little check in,
that sense of belonging is so essential as we know, okay?
Good, thank you.
Level four, let's keep going.
Level four is all about esteem and I love the picture
for this one too.
So, esteem.
Again, just like every level, think how our world
what's happening and the world has impacted
all of these levels.
So, esteem, our esteem has been impacted
because I don't know, anyone feel like
distance learning, they're not an expert in it?
That's my guess, right?
I have talked to so many educators that are truly, truly
experts in the classroom
and by moving to this distance learning,
they feel like that they are first-year teachers once again.
And we know that, oh, my gosh, that does a number
on our esteem.
There's also the danger right now of so much going on
in social media and blame and pointing fingers
and comparison.
Comparisons is the thief of joy,
when we watch, oh, my gosh, this person is doing this
and we start comparing.
That does a number on our esteem.
So, I want us to try tread so carefully here.
And in fact, I want to give you the number one takeaway
for esteem, for the time that we have.
I wanna give you this reminder from Dr. Brene Brown.
Who's one of my favorite inspiration leaders out there.
I know many of you are familiar with her incredible work.
So, I'm gonna let you read that.
So, that's essential.
Because right now, the voice inside your head
might be more of an inner critic than a inner friend.
That voice might be saying, oh, my gosh,
you don't know what you're doing, you're not doing enough,
I don't even wanna go down that road.
We know, we know that voice.
We really know that voice.
Most of us know that voice.
And here's the invitation, is when you hear that voice,
I want you to just stop yourself in your tracks
and decide if what you are saying to yourself
is not what you would say to someone you love,
stop saying to yourself.
Stop saying it to yourself, stop saying to yourself.
And I wish you it were that easy.
I wish I could be like, okay, great, good,
let's move to level five.
Now, we know, we know that this is years and years of work.
There's much great work around this.
In longer workshops, I pull in Dr. Christine Neff, N-E-F-F.
Her work around self compassion is so huge here.
But for our time together, what I want to do
is I want to give you a new vocabulary word.
So some of you may know this.
For some of you, this is probably new.
So, the idea is that when you hear yourself
going into that inner-critic mode and you're saying
not kind things to yourself, what you're gonna do
is you're gonna say, you know, stop it,
I am flawsome.
That's my definition of flawsome.
So, we know, of course, we have flaws.
Good Lord, do we have flaws during this pandemic.
Are you kidding me?
But you know what?
We are still awesome.
So, I want us to hold onto this idea that we're flawsome
and to lock it in, I'm gonna make you do something
right now.
I wish I could see you to check in.
So, pinky promise.
We all said we were gonna go all in
and what I'm going to ask you to do right now
is probably gonna get your inner-critic to start talking
and some of you immediately are gonna be like,
nope, not doing it but I want you to resist the urge
and use this as an opportunity to remind yourself
that you are flawsome.
Because what I'm gonna ask you to do is this.
I want you to take a selfie and I am certain
that if you were not on mute, I would have heard
right then, a collective noise that sounded like this.
(groans)
That noise, that's that inner-critic.
And so you're gonna override that, you're gonna shut
that voice down, you are gonna say, you know what?
I am flawsome and you're gonna take a selfie.
If you are really, really brave, you're gonna share that selfie,
'cause I wanna celebrate you.
You can, say, put it right there on Twitter,
there's where I am, THBoogren, but #flawsome,
I wanna see it.
If you don't wanna do that, you don't have to
but do take the selfie right now.
I'm gonna give you just a couple seconds.
Get it done.
(upbeat music)
♪ Every day's not Valentine's, ♪
♪ but you make it feel like most of the time, ♪
♪ When I'm all alone with you ♪
♪ Picking up pieces of my life ♪
♪ sometimes there's ones I just can't find ♪
♪ but they found a home with you ♪
♪ Woah, I'm not afraid to be alone ♪
♪ Being alone is better with you ♪
♪ Life is better with you ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ Life is better with you ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa ♪
♪ Life is better with you and when I feel ♪
- Oh, fantastic you guys.
And if you're not on Twitter, just ignore it,
ignore it, you don't have to be on Twitter.
It wasn't about Twitter, right?
It was about taking that selfie,
'cause here's what I know for most of us particularly women,
when we're asked to do something that has anything to do
with our physical appearance,
that tends to get that inner critic going, so that
when we do that selfie, that voice starts going.
So, this is about practicing that we are flawsome.
You guys are flawsome.
When I look, I cannot wait to go look at these photos.
You're amazing, you are amazing.
So, level four, remind yourself, talk to yourself
the way that you would talk to someone that you love.
Okay, I have good news.
We are now at the top of our ladder.
So, we get to tap into the tip top, levels five and six.
I'm gonna actually pair these together.
So, the reminder is that there's a shift here.
So, the first four levels are all about avoiding negative
or physiological sensations.
When we think about those first four levels.
Physiology, safety, belonging, and esteem.
When we move up to the top, look,
we have definite shift here.
This is about living our best lives.
This is about tapping back into our why.
I go into much greater depth in a full workshop around this
but the reminder here is that I would argue that
when we start to burn out, it's because we've lost our why.
Let me say that again.
When we start to burn out, it's because we've lost our why.
And that can so easily happen in the day to day challenges
that we face.
Multiply times one million
when we think about the challenges we currently face.
So this is about reminding ourselves of the why.
About finding our best selves, about really reconnecting
with ourselves, especially when things feel out of control.
The strategies that I wanna give us for these two levels
and so you can put these right together on your handout.
I'm gonna give you two, what I like to call hacks.
So, my book "180 Days of Self Care for Educators"
is all about hacks, 'cause I love the idea
of just super simple quick things
that we can put into place.
And the research is really clear
that there's two quick things that we can do to tap
in to self actualization and transcendence,
even if the first four rungs of our ladder feel like
they're broken or starting to crack, or gone.
I don't want us to lose sight of the fact
that we can still do some things to feel better.
You know, you may be looking at your own self care plan
and thinking, oh, boy, I have a lot of work to do.
Don't we all and we're gonna tackle it
just baby step by baby step.
But that does not mean you don't get to
tap into self actualization and transcendence.
So, what I love is there's two super quick things
that we can use at any time.
That are super easy to do and I guarantee it,
I guarantee it will make you feel better.
And the very first one is this, gratitude.
Here's why.
I'm gonna let you read that.
So, gratitude here's the deal, our brains cannot hold onto
negative emotions and gratitude at the same time.
So, when we are in that place of ruminating
about all the negative.
When that inner-critic is talking, you name it.
When all of those negative emotions that are really natural
come up, one of the things that we can do
besides reminding ourselves that we are flawsome,
is immediately tap into gratitude.
Gratitude will overwrite
those negative emotions.
It's not guaranteed it's gonna make you feel better forever
but I will say this.
If you make a routine and ritual out of this,
it is life changing.
Oprah told us to do this years ago
and I always listen to what Oprah says,
so, I have been keeping a gratitude journal for years
and it has literally changed my life.
Every single morning, I write down five unique things
that I'm grateful for.
And here's the key, it has to be unique things,
otherwise we write down the same things.
And when this pandemic started, I struggled
but I was always able to find the gratitude
and it is a game changer.
I love gratitude so much.
I also take at least one gratitude photo every single day.
So, when I am out in the world, it helps me prime my brain
to look for the good.
Because, you know what?
The negative, our brains are primed to find the negative.
So we don't get eaten by the tiger, right?
But we can override that and do some things to find those
positive emotions.
I love this idea 'cause it's simple and you guys,
we can implement it in a lot of ways.
You can right down your gratitude,
you can take the photo, you can share it around the table,
you can ask your students about gratitude.
If you're getting together with your PLCs,
with your grade level teams, start with gratitude.
It's really easy to start with the fear
and the unknown, start with gratitude,
it's gonna change everything.
That's the first hack, the second hack is this one,
which is altruism.
I'm gonna let you read this.
So, single handedly, what the research says is,
excuse me, if you don't feel good, what should you do?
Do something nice for someone else.
And you guys, this is what you do, this is the job
that you do every single day as educators.
This is why you are such rock stars.
It doesn't even have to be anything that big though.
This is literally you just typing something kind
in that chat box.
It's you checking in on a neighbor.
It's you offering a sincere compliment to someone.
It's you, knowing that you can still see a smile
when you're wearing a mask, if you just make it really big
and get your eyes all crinkly.
Thank goodness for those wrinkles, right?
It's doing something that's for someone else
and we instantaneously feel, not only to make their day
but we feel better.
Super simple.
So, gratitude and altruism.
I want you to hold onto those.
When in doubt, go to gratitude and altruism.
When you don't feel good, either recognize the things
you are grateful for or do something kind
for someone else.
And we're gonna try it, I gonna prove this to you.
So, what I want you to do, right now,
I want you to grab your phone or old fashion,
grab a little piece of paper and actually write it down.
And I want you to very quickly send a note of gratitude.
You can even do it in the chat box, if you would like.
Send a note of gratitude to someone that you appreciate
right now.
I'm gonna give us, I'm gonna give you about one minute
to do that.
(upbeat music)
♪ Open up the champagne, pop! ♪
♪ It's my house, come on, turn it up ♪
♪ Hear a knock on the door and the night begins ♪
♪ 'Cause we done this before so you come on in ♪
♪ Make yourself at my home, tell me where you been ♪
♪ Pour yourself something cold, baby, cheers to this ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta stay in ♪
♪ And you know where I live ♪
♪ Yeah you know what we is ♪
♪ Sometimes you gotta stay in, in ♪
♪ Welcome to my house ♪
♪ Baby take control now ♪
♪ We can't even slow down, we don't have to go out ♪
♪ Welcome to my house ♪
♪ Play that music too loud ♪
♪ Show me what you do now ♪
♪ We don't have to go out ♪
♪ Welcome to my house ♪
- Oh, my gosh.
I literally, I have tears in my eyes, you guys.
Just looking at all of this gratitude
and what this is tapping into is not only the gratitude
and altruism but that sense of belonging
that we are all in this together.
I am so grateful for all of you.
And in fact, this leads me to please, please,
join my community.
So, our community, I shouldn't say mine,
this is our community.
There's so many familiar names here.
People that I literally consider friends,
that we have connected via this Facebook page.
So, this is my happy place.
You guys, I post so much stuff here, I'm relentless.
So, I post videos and I post quotes
and I put a ton of self care invitations there,
so please, please join me there.
And I also wanna give you my contact information.
We are going to, please don't log off because we are
about to do questions and answers right now.
But many of you, you might have a private question
or it maybe, you wanna reach out about something else.
If you're interested in knowing more about all the work
that I'm doing right now, virtually, I can do this virtually
for your teams and for your schools and for your districts
on the students side, on the adult side,
that's how you can reach out to me personally,
we'll also share the Solution Tree information as well.
So, I am going to catch my breath,
relish the sense of gratitude that I have
and we're gonna turn this into a question,
answer session now.
Thank you, guys.
- Indeed, indeed, and thank you Tina
for such an inspiring, uplifting, exciting presentation.
The smile has never left your face.
And that is just fantastic.
For those of you who may have tuned in a little late,
this is your moderator, Joel.
I've been listening all along and watching the chat
and just adoring the enthusiasm from all of you.
So, I wanna give you a minute or so to
get these questions into the Q&A box
by clicking that question mark box
and let's see what's on the next slide, oh!
Well, I'll tell you a little bit as we're doing this,
about some of the things that Solution Tree
is coming up with.
One of the things we have come up with
is Travel-Free PD, which is many of the same services
we offered on-site and at conferences
but from the comfort of your location on your device.
So, if that sounds like something you want to do,
'cause PD doesn't go away.
I invite you to come to SolutionTree.com
and click on Portable Event Packages to learn more.
It's really a great program.
Very excited about it.
And well, okay, this is a great time
to open up the questions
and while people are typing, I have one here from
Joey Joe Joe Junior Shavado, who is completely not me,
who wants to know, work keeps me plenty busy during the day
but when it's time to go to bed, all my COVID anxieties
about the future, keep me from sleeping.
What do you recommend?
- Yeah, I think you're probably the only one,
no one else is probably in touch, I'm just kidding.
- It's not me.
- Yes, oh yes.
- Yeah, exactly.
- So, oh man, this is something that I go way more in depth
when we have more time in a virtual workshop
or a little bit longer webinar, here's my best advice,
is get back to basics.
So, number one, turn off the news,
turn off the social media, get the electronics
out of your bedroom, engage in whatever it is
that works for you to calm yourself down.
For me it's reading, it's drinking some hot tea,
finding that peace and another little tiny thing
that's been really helpful is to keep,
just a pad of paper and a pencil next to your bed.
Not your phone, 'cause remember our phones,
we're not gonna keep those in the bedroom.
So, piece of paper and write your worries down.
I think some of it is, we just keep,
we ruminate, right?
Our brain just gets going a thousand miles an hour.
Just gets out of control.
If we could write it down and say to ourselves,
you know what?
I'm just gonna put it on this piece of paper
and I can deal with that tomorrow.
It gets it out of our head
and that could be really, really helpful.
Really helpful.
- Well, I will pass that along to my friend,
who I'm sure thanks you.
Now, onto other very real questions.
Colleen wants to know, you remember those,
that set of questions you asked,
what happens if you answer yes to every question?
- I'm so glad you asked that, then you have the best day
of your life because, oh, my gosh, then you're at the top
of the ladder and then your day gets even better
because you recognize it in the moment.
There's no better feeling
than when we recognize in the moment.
And in fact, Maslow will talk about those peak experiences
when we are able to, time kind of stands still
and we recognize in the moment, how incredible life is.
I talk about this in "Take Time For You",
I have such a distinct, it's so cheesy
but distinct peak experience on my wedding day
of at the reception, time stood still
and I remember things were in slow motion
and I thought, I was just overcome with love
of knowing that every single person that I loved
was in the same room, at the same time.
And I was like when will this ever happen again?
So, that feeling of I could answer yes
all the way up the ladder and by checking in
and recognizing all of those yeses, that is was made
even more powerful and that peak experience
is how we get to the top of the ladder according to Maslow,
so that's a good day when we answer yes all the way up.
- Wonderful.
Lisa has a question, she asks, does plain tea work
or does it have to be water?
- Oh gosh, people start always getting in the weeds on this.
I think you can find different answers to different things.
I think the recommendation is always plain water is best
but if it's not caffeinated, I think we're probably okay
on tea, I would get more plain water than tea.
But I also, people would start to ask questions,
about seltzer water, things like that,
again, I think the go-to is always plain water
but if you're deciding between a diet Coke
and a seltzer water, or tea, decaffeinated tea,
I think we know the right,
the nudge towards the right answer there.
I also, I'm not a big fan of giving things up.
I like to play these games where.
You know, before, I'm never, ever, ever giving up coffee,
you guys, I get up in the morning in order to drink coffee
but I cannot have my coffee until I drink
a full glass of water.
So, I think playing some of those games with ourselves
can be helpful a lot of times.
- Now again, asking for a friend,
does Scotch and water count?
- Oh, gee, did my dad put that in maybe?
- No, no.
- Right and again, I would argue,
it's just about finding balance, right?
Yes.
- Cool, well this isn't really a question,
so much as a request, Karen wants your playlist.
- Oh, my gosh, I'm very honored, I take my playlist
very seriously, so if you go find me on my Facebook page,
I'm gonna post two playlist.
I'll post a longer playlist on Spotify,
that I use for all my workshops, like my live workshops
and the virtual workshops.
I will also post this specific playlist called
Webinar Playlist that I made just for you this morning.
I will post that on that Facebook page,
I'll do that this morning.
Thank you for liking my music.
- And I'm going to be working with Tina
on her first CD compilation.
Now that's what I call professional development.
So, watch for that in the record stores,
if you can still find one.
Well, we got another comment that's not a question
but I had to tell you, Naomi says
and I quote, your enthusiasm is so contagious.
Not the favorite word to use these days,
the day of coronavirus but if you got to be contagious
with some, I suppose this was it.
- Thank you Naomi, this might be the Naomi that I know,
I think, I thank you.
There's so many familiar names, I shouldn't say faces,
I can't see faces.
Yes, there's so many familiar names on here.
I'm just so grateful for all of you.
Thank you.
- Wonderful, Jess is up with a question,
do you have any good strategies for how to manage
a stressful moment and react from a place of better
understanding and gratitude?
- It's so hard, it's so hard,
you know, let me also say this because I don't present this
from a place where I have it all figured out.
I am in the trenches with you, it's why I do this work.
Right, it's absolutely, I have to walk my talk here.
So, it's so good for me, I can't ask you to do these things
unless I do them myself.
So, that being said, I go back to taking a deep breath.
So, when we feel that anxiety coming to place,
I think that if we can get ourselves trained
and I literally mean trained like a puppy
to have our go-to be taking that deep breath,
it will allow us to calm down and then we can do
any number of things.
Victer Frankle has an amazing quote
that I am going to mess up.
It's something along the lines of between stimulus
and a response, between stimulus and response,
there is a moment and in that pause,
in that moment is the ability to make a different choice.
I talk about this a lot when we think about working
with students.
You know, a kid can trigger something in us.
When I talk about Maslow's Hierarchy for students,
so a student's misbehavior is never personal.
I know saying that, some of you are all, oh,
now we're gonna have to talk.
But if we can remember that a student's misbehavior
is never personal, even though it feels personal
and they tell us it's personal, in fact, what it is,
their misbehavior is actually them metaphorically
raising a white flag that says I need help.
In one or more of these areas.
So, if we can remember that.
That again, the pause allows us to perhaps
make a different choice, to say something different
to the child.
To not have that moment that we've all had
where we say something that we regret,
so this is true with students,
this is true with ourselves, so I think it, again,
it goes back to that breath, if we can take a breath,
take a beat, take a breath, and again,
in longer workshops, I talk about
there's lots of different ways to do this.
Box breathing is just one fast way,
There's a lot of ways that we can incorporate that.
'Cause again, different strategies will work
for different people.
Some people may be the box breathing didn't work,
so I've got a whole bunch of other ideas
that we can kind of talk through too.
But that, just taking a deep breath.
Just allows us to calm that nervous system down
and get back into that present state,
which allows us to make a different next best decision.
- I have a question from Anna who asked,
do you have a good meditation resources or tips?
I would love to try meditation but I don't know
where to start.
- Yes, in fact, in both books, in "Take Time For You"
and "180 Days", I list different apps,
which means there's good news for this.
So, get the books and then even if you don't have the book
via Solution Tree, on the Solution Tree website
there's free resources.
And there's a link to all of the apps that I recommend
for meditation.
I'm gonna give you a few of those right now,
so you don't have to go digging for that.
I love Headspace, I love Calm.
Those are my two go-to.
But there's a whole slew, Insight Timer.
There's a bunch of them.
Those would be my three favorites.
I bet a whole bunch of you, yes,
are gonna put some in the chat over here.
That's what I love about us sharing all these ideas.
But there's many more resources
that I have in both books
and on the Solution Tree website, yes.
- Well, that is great.
Our next question is from Lisa.
How would you recommend we present this to
the rest of our child care team?
- Oh yeah, absolutely, well,
I think there's a perfect opportunity
in that starting in just a few weeks.
I'm gonna be doing a book study, a totally free book study
on the book "Take Time For You."
Again, we will post links to that.
That will be promoting that.
I've got links to that over on the Facebook page
and on Twitter
but that might be a really good starting place.
If everyone just gets a copy of the book,
the "Take Time For You" book, I'm gonna take four weeks
and lead us through that book together.
It will be interactive, like this,
they'll be 45 minute sessions.
They're on Friday, so it's gonna feel good like this.
I promise to make more playlists, but that's a really good
starting place.
I also, of course, I do these workshops.
So, I'm so blessed to be able to do them virtually now,
typically they're on-site, which is my favorite
and I have such hope and optimism that that will start
happening again but this is something that I love to do
with teams, I do webinars, I do full day workshops,
I do half day workshops.
I do keynotes.
So, I would like to help your team out
in any possible way that I can.
- A few of our folks would like to know
how to find you on Facebook.
What do they search for?
- Yeah, so the easiest, so, let me actually,
I think I can go right back here.
There you go, there's the link.
If you just search for self care for educators,
that will come up as the cover photo.
So, you know you're in the right place.
And it's coming up, thank you so much,
it's coming up through that chat.
That you can just click on it as well.
- Okay, question from Syeka,
I hope I'm saying your name right.
I am so anxious about how my kids are doing in all this.
I'm an adult and I'm terrified of the damage
it is doing to my kids and I feel helpless.
What can you recommend?
- I know, I know.
I feel for you.
This is, it's collectively, we're all feeling this way too.
And we know, anxiety is contagious and that's happening,
anxiety and fear are happening right now.
And there's such a, a real fear, we don't know
what's happening at home for our students.
So, I think it's the reminder than we can control
what we can right now, continue to make those connections
and just those reminders for all of us
as we have to make really hard decisions about next year,
to remember to prioritize
the social-emotional learning for ourselves
and our students both.
There's going to be this natural state to,
of panic that we go into of thinking about
we've got to get our students caught up.
But the reality is that we have to tread very carefully
and safely there because they're,
all of the research right now is coming out around trauma.
Even more so than typically and how we need to
attend to this.
So, I think that we remain calm ourselves,
that we spend the summer getting the levels of the pyramid
so stinking solid for ourselves,
that we have that foundation to go into the next school year
with that peace built in for ourselves,
so that we can attend to students in the best way possible.
So, I think that we start with ourselves
and then we'll be able to guide and support our students
through this as well.
But I hear you,
it's so hard right now.
- Love it, I know this next question from Sana
is one that is on many, many minds.
How do I stay positive when people all around me
are not feeling it?
- I know, you unfollow and you unfriend.
That's first and foremost.
So, one of the recommendations that I put at level four
for esteem is to truly to take control of your social media.
I understand this could be real life people around us too.
So, if we're thinking about online.
Just remind ourselves that we have control of that.
We can unfriend, we can unfollow people,
I say, but it's my family.
Guess what, you can still unfriend, unfollow,
and shut someone down for a little while.
If it's in real life, remember where it's coming from.
So, most likely, that negativity is stemming from
their own sense of anxiety.
So, just like with students, right?
I always give the example that students misbehavior
is actually them raising a white flag that says
they have some areas of the pyramid missing.
Well, the same is true for us.
I know if I don't sleep, if I'm not drinking enough water,
if I'm only consuming carbs and sugar,
I am nightmare to be around.
And I'm not positive,
so, I think there's a recognition first
that their behavior is coming from a place
that's letting us know that there's
something missing for them.
And I think right now, people are not always acting
as their best selves because our safety has been rocked.
So, I think first a recognition
of where they're coming from.
I think of this often in the airport, I used to,
do you guys remember airports?
There were these places that we went to fly.
Right, I used to spend a lot time in them.
And people are not always on their best behavior
in an airport.
And so, my saving grace to remind myself that
I think that that was coming from a place of fear.
So, that recognition and then anything that we can do
to just stay calm ourselves, to stay in our own bubble
of positivity and not get sucked up
in the contagion of that,
to remind ourselves that negative emotions are contagious
but so is the positive emotions and not in a trite way
but truly just kind of helping to steer over into
and again, I'll mention those two quick hacks
of gratitude and altruism.
If I get in a conversation with someone
where they're feeling
really awful, part of my coaching is always
just in a calm way to say, I hear you,
I absolutely hear you, I recognize all of that
and man, let's just think for a second,
can you tell me two things that you're really grateful for,
right now and you can literally watch their whole body
just change and kind of melt into that.
And that's enough to just open that door to kind of move
in that different direction.
- All right.
We have a question from Elizabeth.
And she says, how can I support a family member
who already is very pessimistic and it is exacerbated
by the COVID-19 and shuts down any positivity activities
I try to share.
I mention self care and they said,
there's no time for self care.
Wait a minute, mom, I've asked them
not to bother me at work.
I'm sorry (speaking faintly).
No, actually, not my mom.
For any of you who know Elizabeth, you'd be like, whoa,
what can you advise for somebody whose family member
is just so closed off to the goodness that gets em'
back where they wanna be.
- Yeah, I think it's similar to that last question.
And it's hard and again, recognizing where it's coming from
but there are, guys, if it's somewhat depending on age,
and relationship too.
Maybe just having an open dialogue around the ladder
and the questions.
I know people get turned off by the term self care.
I don't like the term either because we tend to,
it's gotten a bad wrap recently and we start to think
of self care as consumer self care.
Things that we buy, right?
Facebook ads that pop up, buy this for self care
and clearly, from what we just saw in the last hour,
that's not what I mean.
That self care to me is about
just making a different decision
and it's about taking care of those basic needs.
So, if it's someone that you live with,
I think a gentle thing is suggesting different things
that you can do together and maybe slipping
the positive in.
So, going for a walk together.
So, my husband and I go for walks every single day
and he know, I'm sure he's sitting downstairs
laughing at me.
So, I make him, we have to look for the gratitude
'cause I say I have to take my photo today,
so, help me find it.
So, we're on this hunt to find the gratitude
along the way.
Even just doing something nice for someone else together,
but you don't even have to say that you're doing it.
Just suggest like oh, do you wanna go with me?
Let's go over and let's check on so and so
or let's send a reminder to someone or let's go drop off
donuts for someone.
And just those small things, I think can make a difference.
And it's hard and what I would say is
take care of yourself first.
One of the things, the other recommendation that I have is
I think that our, we taking care of ourself
is contagious to those around us.
So, if you're really set on taking your own needs
and making sure that the levels of your ladder are solid,
that's going to help those around you too
and it can be that inspiration of like,
hm, I want a little bit of that.
She seems, he or she seems to be having a good day.
I wanna little bit of that too, so, modeling it,
practicing it, walking our own talk can be really powerful.
- Somebody in the audience is feeling wired.
Jennifer asked, I'm having trouble disconnecting
from the internet at the end of the day.
Any recommendations?
Yes, I believe and help me out in the chat box, you guys,
there's different apps that you can put on
that just will shut things down for you.
Gosh, you guys, I've reached a certain age
that I just lose my train of thought right in the middle.
I forget things but there are some apps,
if you Google it, or ask Siri,
I'm sure it will come right up.
There are certain apps that you can set
reminders and parameters
and it will literally shut it down.
I just try to get into a routine.
So, I try to have certain times that I'm online
and then after dinner, I really try to just
get in a routine that it's 7:00.
I turn it off, I grab my book, I'm in bed by 8:00.
Yeah, I'm about 100 years old, 'cause I get up real early
but yes, just getting that, just turning it off
and the more you can do that, I think just get it out of
sight, out of mind, can be really helpful.
That's why I really love the walks, too.
Because when I'm walking on my AAWs,
I don't have, I don't have, I'm not looking at the phone.
I'm actually purposely thinking about
all the gratitude out there and then it's attaching
back to level one, 'cause that movement piece
is helping my brain.
- Well, at this moment, I feel a little bit like the guy
who has to close Disney World at the end of the day
because it is my solemn but unfortunate duty to say
that we are nearing the end of our presentation time.
I'm grateful to everybody who asked questions.
It's just been really fantastic.
Some great energy, I love the chat.
I think I made Elizabeth's day
when I joked about being her son.
I am available for adoption, so, please contact
your local shelter.
Wanna invite you to join the free online community
for this edWebinar.
Look at all those benefits.
Some great information during these very trying times.
Very, very trying times.
There's the URL, the address is edweb.net/pd.
So, please check it out.
We have got some more webinars coming up right here
at this station.
We have Equity and Excellence Now on June 1st, at 3:00 p.m
Eastern time with the lovely and talented
Douglas Reeves Ph.D and then on June 3rd,
barely time to catch our breath, it's Return to Learn
Revising Your Mathematics Unit Plans.
Oh, you math teachers.
You know that's a good one.
- I was hoping they'd be no math today.
- Well, we'll call it the M word.
(speaking faintly)
Tim Kanold and Sarah Schuhl, two of our very best
and brightest in the field of M, that word,
will be here at 4:00 p.m Eastern time on
Wednesday, June 3rd.
So sign up, be part of the group that gets to hear it live,
get to ask me question.
It's just have a great time with us.
Cause that is part of the experience.
Now as I said, this is a joint production with Solution Tree
and if you know us, welcome.
If you haven't yet checked us out, what are you waiting for
'cause we have got a treasure trove of goodness
for anyone who educates.
We have books, videos, conferences are coming back.
We are going to do them safely and as soon as is safe
and feasibly possible.
But for those who are still not ready to travel,
our Travel-Free PD is available, it is a great alternative
and save all of that money on hotels and airfare
and expense counts for meals.
Check it out.
And we've got some all kinds of great opportunities.
In fact, too many to talk about but if you'll indulge me
for a minute, we've got a little bit of a video presentation
just a minute or two.
Production team, why don't we roll that show folks.
- As changes in education accelerates
and your professional learning needs evolve,
you can rely on Solution Tree to continue delivering
the research base, expert led guidance you know and trust.
And now, for the first time, our highly rated PLC
at work and RTI at work institutes
are being delivered virtually to you
through our Portable Event Package.
Designed for both teachers and leaders,
these digital institutes are convenient, supportive
and affordable way to continue to learn and grow
using your device on your own schedule.
Experience your digital event four easy steps.
One, determine whether you like to gain a 30-day
unlimited access to our PLC at work institute
or an RTI at work institutes.
Two, build new knowledge and skills by watching
three inspiring keynote sessions,
15 break out sessions on essential topics,
one expert panel discussion.
And just like at our live institutes,
you'll get access to all the session handouts.
Three, learn when it's most convenient for you
by choosing when to start sessions and rewatch them
as many times as you like for a full 30 days.
And four, after your digital institute,
your learning doesn't end.
You'll participate in a live virtual Team Time,
guided by one of our PLC or RTI work experts,
who help clarify your questions
and guide you on next possible steps.
Plus, as a virtual institute participant,
you'll qualify for an exclusive
30-days Solution Tree book store discount.
And receive all of the same event materials
as live institute attendees.
Such as a best selling book, program guide
with keynoter's materials
and the official institute t-shirt.
Our Portable Event Packages merges the impact
and inspiration of our live institutes,
convenience, customization, and flexibility.
Choose our Portable Event Package today
and gain access to self-paced, expert led,
professional learning designed to help you thrive
in your professional practice.
- And that's all part of what we have at Solution Tree.
We publish K-12 professional development books
and our authors, who are all educators,
with real world success, also visit schools
for professional learning and speak at our many institutes,
summits and workshops.
We offer many other options for your school's needs.
But a great place to start, to see what we do
is with any of our upcoming free webinars and book studies
at SolutionTree.com/webinars.
I hope you will check it out.
Well, that is about all the time for today.
Feel free to stick around and chat with each other.
As for me, it remains only to thank our presenter,
Dr. Tina Boogren.
It's an honor to know you.
I'd also like to thank our program manager,
Jessie Laudenbarger, our production team from edWeb,
and thanks to all of you for taking part of your Friday
to be with us.
This is your moderator, Joel Pierson saying,
keep safe, keep healthy, and keep doing what you do so well.
Goodbye everybody.